James Harden says has discovered ‘residence’ with Philadelphia 76ers
James Harden made his much-anticipated residence debut for Philadelphia on Wednesday in a win over the hapless Knicks. He delivered an informal 26, 9 and 9, and might be seen smiling and guffawing like a sociopath who simply stepped on a pair kids to get to the entrance of the ice cream line.
After the sport, he expressed his love for Philly followers and his new “residence.”
“The love, the followers, it appears like residence. Simply the love, the help, man, from wanting round, listening to, ‘We love you, James,’” Harden said afterward.
My lord, discuss an absence of self-awareness. Taking part in with one of many biggest gamers within the historical past of the NBA wasn’t sufficient. He must have his identify screamed like cartoons swooning over rooster Frank Sinatra. Happiness isn’t sufficient, he demands euphoria!
That is outrageous on so many ranges that it’s laborious to maintain monitor of all of them. Additionally, this goes with out saying however I’m going to say it anyway as a result of it’s a nice thought: If Harden ever forces his method out of Philly, he gained’t be allowed in that metropolis. He would want a lot safety to even return there as a visiting participant that it’s most likely higher if he simply skipped this hypothetical recreation.
When you’re having a tough time holding monitor of all of the folks he offended by calling Philly — a spot he’s been at much less time than lots of people’s summer time vacation — “residence,” you’re not the one one. Nonetheless, I’m the author, and it’s my job to do the analysis. So let’s have a look…
Rockets followers
Harden spent eight and a half seasons — and possibly $8 million at strip golf equipment — in Houston. He blossomed into an All-Star after which an MVP, he got here inside a recreation of the NBA Finals, he gained scoring titles. To discuss with Philly as residence after unbearable Rockets followers defended his loophole model of play for practically a decade is extremely disrespectful.
I can’t think about it was enjoyable attempting to justify foul searching and poor playoff showings. It’s akin to 76ers followers yelling about The Course of throughout consecutive seasons with win totals within the teenagers. The man who yelled at me on Twitter concerning the veracity of Sam Hinkie’s strategies is most probably toasting proper now, however let’s see how he feels when Embiid strains a knee per week earlier than the playoffs, and Harden melts into the ineffective puddle he does yearly when the clock strikes postseason.
Nets followers
The bandwagon followers who hopped aboard the Brooklyn specific when Harden pressured his method out of Houston like a bloated pig struggling to exit the sty door are livid. You’ll be able to wager they’re as irate as anybody who’s ever cherished a crew for 13 months could be. Are you aware how a lot a Biggie-themed Brooklyn jersey prices? These trustafarians needed to drink espresso from a Keurig for like two days to save lots of up cash for the Mattress-Stuy version.
Are you aware what Keurig espresso tastes like after a every day eating regimen of macchiatos from Barista and Baker? It tastes like poverty, and there’s no replicating Skyy’s foam artwork at residence. The sacrifices a number of rambunctious bros needed to make to help Harden can’t be neglected. He higher be careful when he returns to the Barclay’s Heart as a result of he’s going to listen to the loudest smattering of boos a participant who give up on two groups has ever skilled.
NBA followers
I don’t perceive why this must be celebrated. A crew tanked to a document diploma, fucked up Markelle Fultz’s profession by drafting him, sat one of the crucial entertaining gamers within the league for almost all of a season as a result of they irredeemably pissed him off, and have been rewarded for their very own incompetence solely as a result of Harden couldn’t play with out his safety blanket of a GM.
The individuals who stated Daryl Morey performed this superbly are solely proper as a result of life was too laborious in Brooklyn for poor James. Kyrie Irving doesn’t wish to get vaccinated. Durant can’t carry the crew for a full season. God forbid he needed to exert himself to the purpose of perspiration. Doc Rivers higher pray there aren’t any snags within the playoffs this yr as a result of if he thought Ben Simmons was smooth, wait till he has to take care of Harden after a modicum of hardship.
The Course of was a sham of a method, and followers as a complete shouldn’t be taught that gargling vomit for years is the one solution to vie for a title.
All the human race
There must be no reward for whining. Usually, when your dad and mom lastly snap and allow you to put the toy within the purchasing cart, higher than to place the toy within the purchasing cart. What sort of conduct are we encouraging?
It appears like residence? Actually? Philly appears like residence? It appears like residence. It. Feels. Like. House.
Hey guys, Jimmy Harden lastly discovered a house. Let’s go across the room and say one thing good about Jimmy. This has been a troublesome time for him. However now, he’s discovered a house like a refugee crossing the Mediterranean on an inflatable raft provided that that raft was a mega yacht and the opposite refugees clinging to pricey life have been strippers.
Fuck you, James Harden. Sincerely, fuck you.
